would you come to my funeral (2006)
Would you come to my funeral,
Weep at my eulogy,
And tear at my burial?
Even if you tortured me when alive?
When you talked about me behind my back,
Snickered when I walked by,
Felt it necessary to comment on my clothes,
And the lack of friends by my side.
Will all thought be forgotten,
When they announce my passing,
When my true friends fall with heartache,
And you don't know whether to cry or laugh?
The truth is you'll go to my funeral for theatrics,
Cry like a baby at my graveside,
Regal what good friends we were,
Even though you remember your cruelty,
You'll put on the act and pretend to be a mourner.
Would I want you at my funeral?
I'd rather not die than have you there.
Because your malice will always be,
And I'd rather not bring that to the grave,
Not even if it hurts so much to live.
posted by JC at
8:47 PM
2 Comments:
You mentioned that your senior year was 2007. I assume you decided to continue your education, meaning that you should be in college at some point. This would provide you an excellent opportunity to take a poetry or creative writing class through your school.
As before, I think you are allowing your form to take precedence over content. Rhyme is not necessary, nor is cadence. Many modern poets will eschew both in order to draw attention to the message or imagery employed in the poem.
I think that some of this poem is clichéd or banal. Angst is a fickle friend, and it seems a much larger issue than it really is. Modern poets are focused on the self more than previous generations, yet those personal feelings or views are associated with a larger scale, a puzzle piece brought into perception through the medium. Often, these types of poems--as you've started out with--end with a type of revelation or epiphany.
These types of poems--the epiphanic--can be schocking and effective, but as before, capricious. Too much will come off as amateur, but too little will appear weak.
you mentioned reading a great many books, so I will recommend James Joyce. Look up a bibliography or wiki page and begin with his first works-that is chronologically. His late work is extremely hard to understand when not put in context via his earlier works. It is very much an evolutionary sort of thing.
I hope a few of these are helpful. You can follow my link to my own blogger space or simply get back on reddit and pm me. Whichever seems prudent.
February 22, 2010 at 1:31 AM
just to be frank, this is the first poem I recall ever writing, forcibly for a class assignment, and I had only recently found it in archives. I have posted my newer materials in reverse-chronological order or really just as I find them around. I don't post here first so it tends to be scattered. Take a better look around and see if you think my style has improved by any relative margin. Thanks for your comment!
May 8, 2010 at 4:02 PM
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